Never to Return: A Modern Quest For Eternal Truth, Chapter 11: "Toward the One"

NEVER TO RETURN:

A MODERN QUEST FOR ETERNAL TRUTH

A Multimedia Spiritual Adventure Memoir
by Sharon Janis

Across the aeons of time,
irresistibly, undauntedly,
by some uncanny internal forward thrust,
the consciousness of the creature
in its advance through evolution
strives to touch the absolute,
to soar into further dimensions.

Chapter Eleven

TOWARD THE ONE

I CONTINUED TO ATTEND programs and chants at the Ann Arbor meditation center, and drove back to the New York ashram for weekend visits twice more that year. During my third visit, I attended a two-day initiation workshop with my teacher. This was another experience-filled weekend, when I received his physical touch in the space between my eyebrows and was carried into a tender but emotionally intense feeling of being loved by the divine.

The person seated behind me was also having an intense experience, and was basically screaming her head off, right into my ear. I managed to stay fairly centered in my own inner space, even with the loud disruption. I especially didn't mind when my teacher came back to our row to calm the woman down, because he gave me one more touch on top of my head. He also brushed his wand of feathers against my back, leaving his enticing scent on my sweater.

Back in Ann Arbor, I discovered a fascinating book, Toward the One, written by Sufi master, Pir Vilayat Khan. With every page, this book challenged and then expanded the limits of my understanding.

One day, I found out the author was going to be giving a lecture in Detroit the following Friday. For a moment, I wondered if it was okay to see two different teachers, but I couldn't think of a good reason why this would be a problem, and drove up for the program.

Pir was a thin man with long gray hair and beard, wearing a white woolen robe with a hood. He looked like Gandalf from the Hobbit (Lord of the Rings) books, like one of the great wizards of medieval times.

After Pir's inspiring talk, the whole room sang a song together, with the word "Hallelujah," sung in various harmonies and melodies of what I later learned to be Pachelbel's Canon. I had never heard the tune before, and the musical melody and harmonies affected me strongly. I assumed that Pir or one of his followers had written the song, and was extremely impressed and taken with its magic. Each section of the room was given a different harmony to sing, and when it all came together, the sound was celestial. We were a choir of angels singing the music of the spheres. My soul was lifted high by the power of this song. As the program ended, someone announced that anyone wishing to be initiated by Pir should go to a specific location in a hallway. I wanted to at least meet this man, and waited in the designated area. Eventually, one of Pir's assistants escorted me into a dimly lit room behind the sanctuary where the program had been held.

At first, the room appeared to be empty. It took a moment before I saw Pir standing there. I walked up to him, feeling surprisingly bold. Though I was in awe of this man whose writings had carried me to such elevated levels of consciousness, still I was feeling quite comfortable.

Pir opened his arms and took my hands, as he greeted me with a soft smile. I looked into his eyes and proclaimed, "I want to know the Truth." I hadn't planned on saying anything like that, but this was too important a moment to waste on small talk.

Pir met my eyes and confidently pronounced, "You will." Then he smiled informally and asked, "Do you want to be initiated?"

I did, but I had a conflict. I knew it was important to be honest and forthcoming, especially with a great spiritual being such as Pir. I told him I would like to receive his blessing, but that I had already been initiated by Swami Muktananda. I didn't know if there was a rule about not being initiated by more than one guru.

Pir's eyes lit up with a big smile. "Muktananda is a wonderful teacher! Once I saw him speaking, and in the middle of a sentence he turned into an ecstatic dervish! (lover of God).” Pir exclaimed, "We're all one, aren't we!?!"

I nodded as he led me into a short dance together. My heart was happy. What amazing turn was my life taking?

Then Pir looked into my eyes. "You should stay with Muktananda as much as possible. Learn his teachings."

I bowed my head in gratitude for the guidance and blessings, and smiled, "I will."

I drove back to Ann Arbor on cloud nine, and floated through the night. The next morning, I woke up bright and early to go to the morning devotional chant at the local meditation center.

During the hour and a half chant, I began to hear the melody of the previous night's "Hallelujah" song playing in my mind, superimposed over and through the Sanskrit verses. Even though the two melodies were quite different, still they blended together well to create a new, beautifully balanced montage of music. I stopped chanting and allowed myself to be swept away by the beauty of this intoxicating, symphonic blend of outer and inner sounds.

After the chant, I went to the meditation center's snack bar to have a cup of tea. Although I’d been going to programs for nearly a year, I hadn't spoken with most of the people there or participated in any of their social discourse. They seemed like wonderful people; yet I was in a seriously introverted phase, where words did not flow readily. But after the amazing events of last night, and the powerful inner harmonies of this morning, I wasn’t quite ready to head home. I wanted to stay in the energy of this place where positive and powerful spiritual practices took place at all hours of every day. With my own vibration uplifted by spiritual practices and meetings with great spiritual beings, I was learning to taste this holy energy more clearly and with greater appreciation.

Most of the community was in the snack bar, laughing, eating, and having fun with one another. There was a lot of activity, because some of the fellows were installing a new stereo system into the room. I ordered a cup of tea and sat down, taken aback by the brightness and chatter. Every now and then, I would close my eyes and touch once again the peaceful state inside myself, and then open my eyes again to experience all the activity around me. Through these oscillations between outer brightness and inner stillness, I continued to hear that beautiful melody resounding through my heart – hallelujah, hallelujah.

The stereo installers finished plugging in the last speaker and announced that they were going to check the new sound system.

I had no idea this was a famous piece of music. I thought Pir had composed the melody. And here, the very next morning, at my local meditation center, was a full orchestra recording of all the harmonies and melodies we had been singing the night before with Pir Vilayat Khan, at full volume!

A part of me dissolved in that moment, into somewhat of a Zen koan state, where my mind had nothing left to hold on to. Although I later found out that Pachelbel's Canon was a well known composition, still the mind-stopping awe and expansion I experienced from this seeming miracle had already done its job on my consciousness.

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