The thought came and went, and was only occasionally revisited
when I saw more and more Dummies books appearing on all kinds of topics.
I thought that "God Realization For Dummies" might be a book that I
could write, but didn't really take the idea too seriously until several years
later, when I found out about Waterside Agency.
Nearly every day, I would walk from my small house in Cardiff to
the Sea to the ocean. It turns out
that one of the buildings I passed by was actually a literary agency that
specialized in representing For Dummies books! This seemed like a
possible sign or opening from the universe, so I thought it would be good, as a
disciple of this magnificent universe, to offer a hand and see if this was something
I was meant to do. I created a three-page proposal for God
Realization For Dummies and sent it in to the literary agent.
The agent was on vacation for a few weeks, so I didn't hear back
right away, and was ready to let that idea float away for now.
As a creative-minded person, I have many ideas. Some are
meant to be thought creations or exercises in creating in spirit without having
to make the full commitment of delving into and completing a major project. Sometimes we have certain karmas that
are not quite strong enough to make us enter an entire realm or situation, so
we can release those karmas and learn those lessons through imagined events,
dreams, and symbolic situations.
I more or less released the project until the agent phoned to say
that he liked the idea and had read and enjoyed my memoir on his plane
flight. He would represent the book. In fact, Bill said that
he was going to be meeting with the Dummies publisher the very next week, and
asked me to create a full proposal for his meeting.
Book Proposals generally take around two months to put together,
and I was being asked to put together a full proposal, with table of contents,
synopsis, marketing plan, bio, sample chapters, and more in four days.
Oh, and he wanted to change the title from God Realization For Dummies to Enlightenment For
Dummies.
I thought this was somewhat of a presumptuous book title, which
would inevitably bring questions and expectations of my being enlightened, and
all the judgments and trips that would come with that. I don't really
think too much about what my spiritual attainment levels might be. The
teachings that I was initiated with generally guided followers of the tradition
to see the entire universe as an expression of divine consciousness. With
that worldview, the work to be done is in trusting and nourishing that vision,
and in understanding that there are many levels and phases to experience on
this journey. Sometimes when you feel the least enlightened is when you
are the most enlightened. So, when asked, I like to say that if I were
enlightened, I certainly would never tell anyone. That seems to close
that dualistic line of questioning fairly well.
I did have some concerns about writing a book called Enlightenment
For Dummies, and joked that maybe it should be one of those books filled with
blank pages. Nevertheless, the coincidence of having this Dummies agent
appear right around the corner from my home put me on the "Yes"
train. I just said yes to writing this title, and I said yes to writing
an entire book proposal in four days, trusting that the intelligent nature of
the universe would make any changes needed to the scenario.
Once again, the magical surrender of service that had brought
about so many amazing miracles in my ashram and Hollywood work came to the
rescue. I set to work, and did my best to stay focused on the task at hand.
During these four days, I received not one, but two phone calls
from one of my guru's secretaries, Aparna. After my previous contact
person had moved away from the ashram, Aparna either took it upon herself or
was asked to become my communications conduit to the ashram and our guru.
I think she probably took it upon herself, and most likely regretted doing that
at times.
I did my best to be very welcoming and respectful to Aparna when
she would phone for a chat. In fact, I was always happy to hear from her,
feeling that I was receiving the blessing of what the great Indian saint
Jnaneshwar so beautifully described as "a breeze from the house of my guru." But Aparna and I were very different in
our styles, natures, and approaches to life.
Aparna never really did "get me". In fact, she's
the one who had been my first guru's secretary when I wrote in to ask for a
meeting with him regarding my choice between going back to school or staying in
the ashram, which I share about in an earlier chapter called “Destiny
Calls.” Of course, one lesson from
that experience was that even though she didn't approve the meeting, I ended up
making the decision to go back to school but then got called back with a letter
requesting that I come back to the ashram to serve in the video department over
the winter. So I'd learned that
ultimately, the communication between disciple and guru, devotee and God can't
be blocked by the actions and opinions of others, at least not on the deepest
levels.
Even years later, when I was living full-time in the ashram and
creating many beautiful videos that were being sent and shown in meditation
centers around the world, the always well-dressed Aparna still seemed to
consider simple old me to be too beneath her level to acknowledge in any
meaningful way.
Even though she was also a secretary to our second guru, the only
message she personally delivered to me was one of very few super-tough messages
I'd received from our guru. Other secretaries sent me beautiful letters
with sweet and loving messages from our guru, but Aparna was apparently
destined to see only the dark thread of the wondrous, full, and loving
guru-disciple relationship my guru and I shared.
Aparna's disinterest or disapproval was never a concern for me
previously, but now she was my official contact with the ashram, phoning every
now and then to see how I was doing, and probably more likely, to find out what
on earth I was doing now. She usually tried to be polite and kind, but
sometimes her voice would be drenched with flavors of distrust, suspicion, and
disregard. I would do my best to maintain a sense of well-mannered
honesty and gratitude for whatever kindness she was able to offer, but during
one phone call, we both pretty much lost our composure.
Here I was, completely focused on the monumental task of writing a
full book proposal in just four days, when Aparna phoned to see what and how I
was doing. I let her know that I
now had an agent who was going to be pitching a book called Enlightenment
For Dummies in just four days, and that I couldn't talk for too long since
there was a massive amount of work to get done in a very short time.
Maybe Aparna didn't like the idea of someone as low as me writing
such a book. My goodness, what if someone thought I was in any way
representing the path! Not only was I poorly dressed and clearly not an upper
echelon type person like herself, but I was too honest and open, and worst of
all — overweight!
Several years later, Aparna affirmed my impressions and suggested
that I should leave our gurus out of my works and books. Since Aparna was close
friends with Suze and her gossip-spreading posse, I think it likely that she
may have also been taking part in their sordid play by conveying to others that
I was someone not to be trusted or treated nicely.
Whatever the motivation, during this conversation, Aparna's nice veneer slipped off enough
that she started becoming argumentative about anything I said. It seemed as if she was goading me, trying to get me upset
and throw me off center just as I had to be in a productive space to create this book proposal. Even when I'd respond nicely and patiently, she
would continue to shoot more caustic darts, allowing her disrespect for me to show through.
At one point, we were talking about the rumors and the negative
treatment that I was still receiving from the local meditation centers.
Aparna poo pooed the idea that any such thing was happening, even though she
knew quite well that it was. I said, "Trust me, this kind of
behavior happens not just to me but to quite a few people."
Of course, Aparna knew that what I was saying was true, because
our guru often received letters from devotees complaining about bad treatment
from centers and other devotees, and our guru had spoken about this quite a few
times, always encouraging us to be kind to one another. Nevertheless,
when I said, "Trust me, this kind of behavior happens not just to me but
to quite a few people," Aparna jumped in, and practically yelled at me:
"I do NOT trust you! I DO NOT trust YOU!
I DO NOT TRUST YOU!!!"
I was really surprised by this outburst, and thought, "Well
at least we've finally got an honest communication." Nevertheless,
I was in the middle of creating a full book proposal in four days, and so I
asked Aparna if we could have this discussion at another time.
Eventually, we did end the phone call, and I went back to work and, perhaps
using some of the emotional energy that had been unleashed during this phone
call, proceeded to write a full and fabulous book proposal, complete with a
table of contents, author's bio, marketing plan, and a sample chapter on
"karma."
While looking through other Dummies books to follow their
structure, I realized that the Dummies style was very compatible with my own
natural writing and humor style. I also thought it would be fun to have
all those tips, warnings, sidebars and boxes to fill up with spiritual goodies.
I thought it would be a fun and challenging project to do, but at the
same time, I had some mixed feelings.
This is how life is - we are multifaceted beings. We want
something, but some hidden voice is speaking against it - not into our ears,
hopefully, but on a subconscious level.
Still, even with Aparna trying to throw me off by being so
argumentative, I was able to refocus my energies and write the entire 50-page
proposal for Enlightenment For Dummies within the four days, so my agent could
give it to the publishing executives during his upcoming meeting.
Then we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Months ticked by.
It seems that the for dummies publishing company was also in a
quandary. They had been wanting to publish a Spirituality For Dummies book, however, they
weren't sure whether to go with me as the author. After all, I didn't
really have proper credentials for a book like this, other than having lived a
monastic life and written a small press spiritual autobiography. Certainly,
being a producer and editor of X-Men and the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers
wouldn't add much to my spirituality credentials. In fact, the publisher
did have other more famous and credentialed authors who wanted to write the
book, but they also really liked my writing style in spite of their not knowing
that I'd put the proposal together so quickly. This quandary on the
publisher's behalf led to no decision being made on this book for month after
month after month. What to do?
I did what any good metaphysical teacher would suggest — in
spite of still having barely enough finances to live on, I began preparing to
write the book. I'd heard that this publisher would only give authors
about 6 months to write a For Dummies book, and I had thousands of pages of
notes to go through and sort into about 1500 different topics and subtopics,
along with the book structure and
lots of new writing to fill the nearly 400-page book that I was hoping would
come to be.
This kind of leap of faith is an important element of how we
create the world around us through intention and action. When I knew
that I'd want to live in that house in Cardiff by the Sea, I gave 30 days
notice to my current landlord without having been accepted by the new landlord.
It is called a statement of faith, and it can also be a slippery slope,
because there is no guarantee that your faith will be strong enough to manifest
everything in the way you desire. That's what makes it faith. By
definition, faith is for something without a guarantee.
I started to organize 1500 pages of notes and ideas - typing them
up and separating the ideas into 300 separate topics, into four large
notebooks.
I also contemplated how our own resistance to things can manifest outwardly, and realized that I did have some resistance to writing this book. I think that many people feel apprehensive about any major project like this, especially one that could bring you into the public spotlight as a "spiritual author," with all the judgments that would likely produce. At the same time, I did want to write the book, and certainly needed to have some paid project come through, as I was penniless and on the brink of bankruptcy. Because our minds are multilayered and multifaceted --from the conscious to the subconscious to the unconscious, and extending beyond anything we've yet understood -- the power of our minds to create in the outer world becomes muddied and dulled by all these conflicting layers of wishes and thoughts.
After many months of waiting for a response, a series of events
took place that gave me a very deep insight into the nature of how our thoughts
manifest in the world.
I went for a rare evening program at the local meditation center
of my guru's path. I didn't usually go to evening programs, because I'd usually
be met by a wall of unfriendliness and judgments, based mostly on the rumors
that had been spread throughout the path by my old friend Suze and her friends.
Usually people in the center's inner circle would completely ignore my
presence. Sometimes one would offer a "Hello Kumuda," that would be
dripping with condescending distaste. Occasionally one of the steering
committee folks would actually say something rude to me or ask someone else to
insult me. And of course there were also friendly folks mixed in who would be
very happy to see me there. It was a strange mixture to be sure. Usually I walk
through life giving and receiving many smiles and much friendliness, but when
I'd walk through the doors of my own guru's local meditation center, it would
be like walking into another very different and very unpleasant world.
On this day, they were going to be showing a video of our guru
leading a Sanskrit kirtan chant. It was a small, somewhat informal program,
with only a handful of people attending. This video was one of very few that I
hadn't seen before — it was filmed just one week after I left the New
York ashram where the chant took place.
Remembering that powerful and poignant time brought up nostalgic
memories and feelings. It seemed
that our guru's face looked exceptionally serious and almost somber during this
chant. I started musing to myself that maybe she was feeling sad that I'd just
left the ashram after so many years, and in such strange circumstances. During
the few weeks after I left, she did mention me several times to people,
so I knew I'd been on her mind.
After seeing the date in the title and remembering my experiences
of leaving, I realized that today was August 1st, 1999 – just ten days
before my ten-year anniversary of leaving the ashram.
My guru was in the Indian ashram at the time, and I had an
acquaintance who was also at the ashram and reachable through email. I was
inspired to send a message to my guru to let her know that it was going to be
my ten-year anniversary of leaving the ashram, but also thought that it would
be indulgent to write just to inform her about my anniversary. After all there were tens of thousands
of people on this path – just imagine if they all contacted our guru
every time they had a birthday, initiation anniversary, or other personal
milestone.
Then it came with a flash and a smile.
If my proposal to write Spirituality for Dummies was accepted by the
publisher, I'd have a good excuse to write to my guru and tell her about the
book deal. And if it happened in
the next ten days, I could also let her know that it was my ten-year anniversary
of leaving the ashram. Shazam!
And that was that. Now I wanted to get the book deal one hundred percent. Whether for the
right or wrong reasons, my thoughts and desires came into alignment and broke
through my layers of resistance about this book deal. I wanted the book deal to
go through so I could have an excuse to tell my guru about this anniversary.
The power of intention was focused. Try as you may to use laws of attraction and affirmations to get what
you think you want, nothing quite breaks through the karmic sludge like a positive,
focused, clear, and passionate soul-deep wanting.
And you know that the cosmos had to also participate in this grand
event. It turns out that the night before my ten-year anniversary there would
be a rare and well-publicized alignment of the planets along with a full lunar
eclipse. Our local meditation center was staying open all night and playing a
recording of the mantra of our lineage so that devotees could keep their minds
focused on higher-level thoughts and energies during such a powerful planetary
time.
August 10th came, and no book deal had come yet. I went to the meditation center to
chant for a couple hours, and then returned home. It was after midnight as I
set out my meditation rug in the backyard, and sat under these auspiciously
arranged stars and planets to meditate and open myself to grace. The book deal
was in the back of my mind as I sat focusing on the presence of Universal
Consciousness. In the midst of this inner communion, the little baby of my
next-door neighbors began to cry.
Now, these neighbors were also members of our spiritual path, and
must have known about the powerful astrological alignment. Nevertheless, this
was apparently the night that they decided to teach their little baby girl not
to cry during the night by responding to her pleas and just letting her cry on
and on. And on. And on. With the window open. For over an hour. While
meditating, I was also listening to her wails and cries.
As the little baby realized that nobody was coming to take care of
her, she started to scream and make sounds as though she was choking —
anything, it seemed, to get the attention she so desired. Who knows what she
was actually experiencing in that moment? All I could sense was that this
little baby was in a state of intense suffering, perhaps it was her first
extreme moment of abandonment – the kind that can create a mental and
emotion pattern that can affect the rest of our lives.
I felt a bit like Buddha sitting under his tree and seeing the
nature of suffering in this world. I realized that even a little baby who was being brought up by well-off
parents on a spiritual path, still had to go through such deep suffering
— in fact, every person in this world goes through times of suffering.
I thought, "Through the teachings, blessings, and practices
of my spiritual journey, I've received tools that have helped me to weather the
sufferings of life in a way that allows for a simultaneous connection to the
deep peace of inner spirit beyond the waves of this world. If I can help
alleviate some of the suffering in this world by writing a book like Spirituality
For Dummies, I should do it."
I think that was the magic bullet that did the trick. Now I was
also wanting to write the book for the highest reason, as well as for the
devotional but not quite as altruistic reason of wanting to have an excuse to
contact my guru about my ten-year anniversary of leaving the ashram and living
in "the world."
Within a few hours, as morning broke, my phone rang with a call
from my agent — I had the book deal, and was able to send the email to my
guru on August 11th, 1999.
Then came the task of setting about writing a spiritual text for
today's world that would be both universal and personal, inclusive of many
faiths and philosophies, humorous, poignant, easy to understand, and
multi-leveled enough to connect with anyone from wherever they are — from
scholars to novices.
“You can be sure you will no longer be a dummy if you finish reading Spirituality for Dummies. This 330-page primer provides a general overview of spiritual knowledge and awareness, and offers specific spiritual exercises and principles designed to expand one's universal consciousness. Author Sharon Janis fuses mystical traditions with "new thought" to encourage individuals to see beyond mere appearances and use intuitive perceptions to comprehend the spiritual laws at work behind the outer conditions in their lives."
“Spirituality For Dummies is a Mecca for those
who are sincerely seeking the genuine meaning and practice of
spirituality. Sharon Janis fuses
mystical insights drawn from the east/west approaches, resulting in a volume
that opens the heart, exhilarates the mind, and inflames the soul. No matter upon which rung of the
spiritual ladder you now stand, expect to be catapulted to the next level of
awareness through practice of the wisdom-offerings in this scripture of Truth.”
— Michael Beckwith, Agape and "The
Secret"
“If you feel empty inside (and not because it's
been six hours since your last burrito), it might be time to search for the
meaning of life in Spirituality for Dummies… Even skeptics can gain
self-knowledge from the thought and visualization exercises strewn throughout
the book, which demonstrate how to take a positive view of negative experiences
and let go of emotional baggage—like going to a therapist, but cheaper.
Janis explains meditation, yoga, and other practices in a chipper,
down-to-earth style, using everyday analogies and many an exclamation point,
that won't scare off the novice.”
— Village Voice
In
spite of all my good efforts and success in fulfilling this amazing task, the
book didn't sell especially well. Nobody seemed to notice it. Barnes & Noble had it stored in the
very lonely Comparative Religions aisle where even people looking for the book
didn't find it. The publisher had
used a cover photo that was an extremely dark view of leafless trees with
broken branches around a stagnant stream, with barely a few small rays of
sunlight streaming through the tangled branches into the darkness. Also, it turns out that spiritual
people were offended by the title Spirituality For Dummies. They felt that it wasn't “positive.” Since some people pursue spirituality
to feel superior to others, the title of my book did not fit into their
scenario. They didn't want to be
seen reading a title like this, and so the book didn't sell as well as I
thought it would have.
Again,
I'd remember the inner guidance that had come years earlier to share what I'd
learned, and it's addendum that my works would be a classic after I'm gone (not
to toot my horn, that was the message). This part of the message was actually very helpful in keeping me focused
on offering the best I could in every project, serving a future that I may not
be around to see.
In
a way, this scenario made sense. If you write a philosophy book in today's tabloidesque culture, no
matter who you are or what you say, you'll be picked apart in this blog or that
comment. I though it would be best
for the works to be available without my being a distraction. After all, I wasn't anything
special. It was the grace that
came through my circumstances and potentials that was responsible for these
works.
I
didn't want to have to enter the world of fitting into the boxes of all these
television and radio shows. I was
willing to do it, but like I'd been earlier regarding the writing of
Spirituality For Dummies, my wishes were mixed. I wanted my works to get out there, but I also wanted to
have a peaceful life of creative solitude.
What
I got was mostly the continued life of solitude, and not so many book sales,
although hundreds of people were coming to enjoy my ever-growing spiritual
multimedia resources website ever day, so I did feel some satisfaction of
knowing that my offerings were being received by some.
On to Chapter Forty-Five
Back to The Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Awakening
Chapter 2: Never to Return
Chapter 3: I Chose This?
Chapter 4: Through the Years
Chapter 5: Exploring the Unconscious
Chapter 6: Faith-Healer
Chapter 7: Hidden Persuaders
Chapter 8: The Threshold of Life
Chapter 9: When the Student is Ready
Chapter 10: Magical Meeting
Chapter 11: Toward the One
Chapter 12: Who is Shiva?
Chapter 13: Destiny Calls
Chapter 14: Winter Wonderland
Chapter 15: The Happy Pauper
Chapter 16: This Karmic Dance
Chapter 17: Stoking the Inner Fire
Chapter 18: The Fruits of Surrender
Chapter 19: That Gracious Glance
Chapter 20: How Could He Be Gone?
Chapter 21: From Heart to Heart
Chapter 22: Get a Job
Chapter 23: Smash the Idol
Chapter 24: Clothed in Devotion
Chapter 25: Nemesis
Chapter 26: Who Are You Calling Jad?
Chapter 27: A Perfect Mistake
Chapter 28: She Still Thinks She Did It!
Chapter 29: Taming the Beast
Chapter 30: Undo What You Have Done
Chapter 31: The Great Guiding Force
Chapter 32: The Wish Fulfilling Tree
Chapter 33: Where is the Key?
Chapter 34: The Hollywood Chronicles
Chapter 35: A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to Nirvana
Chapter 36: Love, Betrayal, and the Unseen Hand of God
Chapter 37: An Inner Command
Chapter 38: Cardiff by the Sea
Chapter 39: Miracles and Great Beings
Chapter 40: Shiva's Fiery Dance
Chapter 41: A Shifting Path
Chapter 42: Cheering up Nine Swamis
Chapter 43: Death Threat
Chapter 44: Spirituality For Dummies
Chapter 45: A Real Angel
Chapter 46: Send in the Clowns
Chapter 47: Dispassion and Death's Door
Enjoy Additional Works by Sharon Janis as part of the
Night Lotus Offering of Multimedia Spiritual Resources
Click on a book or CD cover to enjoy it online
(All but Spirituality For Dummies are available to enjoy online in their entirety):
Watch a short video about Sharon and Spirituality For Dummies
