Chapter 2
Moving Beyond Ego
from the book Breakthrough Consciousness
by Sharon Janis
In the fire of knowledge, of love,
burn up your ego, your individuality,
and smear its ashes on your body.
- Mansur Mastana
The description "egotistical person" is often used to describe someone who thinks he is better than others, who always thinks of himself first and foremost. However, when the Indian scriptures and scholars exhort seekers to "Burn up your ego," they are referring to something more complex than just our notion of, "He's got such a big ego; he thinks he's so great." The ego of ancient scriptures refers to the entire gamut of limiting self-consciousness; the notion of individual separateness from the rest of the universe.
Due to this ego, we have lost our awareness of the intuitive knowledge that we are an integral part of this universe, animated by waves of the same conscious energy that moves the planets and galaxies, the same intelligent force that organizes a group of ants to move in unspoken unison while building a perfectly symmetrical anthill, without forming committees to have endless meetings about the project. How can we move beyond ego and rediscover the perfection and intelligence that moves through us and everything around us?
Much knowledge is already available to us in our search for higher truth. Throughout history, great thinkers, philosophers and sages have expressed their discoveries through the written word. One effort we can make is to gather this knowledge and look at it with an objective eye, discerning the tendencies and patterns woven throughout the various forms of expressed knowledge. As many have said, different spiritual paths carry essential teachings that sound quite alike. To find the essential gems of insight in writings, we may have to weed out some of their cultural-bound additions and contexts, allowing us to perceive their essence. With an openness to moving beyond the veils of imperfection, we can begin to loosen our tight hold on the myth of egocentricity -- and its even tighter hold on us!
We have to learn to quiet the mind, be still of heart, and focus our attention inward, opening ourselves to this new experience. In the silence of deep introspection, when the mind becomes quiet, it is possible to enter a point of deep awareness. Many people fall into this space for a moment during a short nap. It is that shift into deeper consciousness that allows you to awaken with a vital freshness after only a few minutes.
We believe our wings are clipped, and do not even try to use them. We have forgotten how to fly, and find ourselves stuck in a cage that does not even exist. The maps through which we view reality are like the cages within a dream. Try as we may to blast, cut, or push them open -- all we really have to do is wake up from this dream of the world and realize that the cages never even existed.
Bound up inside the bubble of egocentric preoccupation, our innate logical ability to see the obvious becomes terribly constricted. If we can peek out from this egocentric dream world, it is possible to see the world with fresh eyes, gleaning insight into its deeper nature. This is the space of inner knowing. It is for this deep experience that sages in ancient India would sit quietly for days, months, years, and even decades on end. This is the place where understanding is holistic, beyond the limitation of language or words. It may be difficult to contain this kind of knowledge in the words available to us, with all the layers of meaning inherent with any language-based expression. It is not the kind of knowledge that makes for good debate or arguments. It simply IS.
I AM THAT I AM
This unspoken, unwritten knowledge does fall within the bandwidth of possible experience for the human conceptual system, but most of the time we are buried too deeply in personal illusion and mental preoccupations to allow for the reception of new thoughts that would move us out from our egocentric bubbles into realms of higher understanding.
There are times when all our different forms of knowledge -- inner and outer, expressed and unexpressed, right-hemispheric and left-hemispheric -- combine to create a higher growth of understanding, where the sum total of the parts creates a greater holistic view. From these spurts of integration, we gain new paradigms of knowledge, new templates for our experience. This is growth, evolution.
Whether new information comes from external modes of learning or from inner discovery, as it becomes integrated and enfolded into our world view there is a multi-level expansion of our world itself -- for "the world" and our understanding of the world are inseparable.
For example, five centuries ago humanity discovered the outer knowledge that our earth is not, after all, the center of the entire universe, and that it is spherical, and not flat. Society's protectors tried to stop this blasphemy, and several scientists were even tossed into the slammer to keep them from poisoning the minds of the fragile public with their evil and crazy ideas about all these planets and galaxies.
Once the information became undeniable, it was finally available to be integrated into the human consciousness worldview. Our ancestors could then apply this information even to the practical levels of thought that now allow for world-wide, even inter-planetary travel, as well as new paradigms in astronomy, geology and countless other areas of human knowledge. We realized the sun is not rising and setting on the one and only world in existence. We understood that, indeed, the sun is not rising and setting at all, contrary to the proof before our very eyes. Imagine what a generational adjustment the people of that time must have had to make with this expansion from a fairly small universe to a virtually infinite one. One integrated piece of information changed the entire worldview of the human race. This has happened many times, both in the group evolution of our race, and the personal evolution of each person. Worldviews are created and destroyed, like potential universes being proposed, created, and then tossed out to dissolve by the hands of the "Gods."
When we discovered, and more importantly accepted the idea of Earth being a planet amidst something bigger than previously considered possible, this knowledge could then be integrated with countless fields of experience and exploration. From this, whole new worldview plateaus were reached. New sciences were born. New explanations, new possibilities for human experience, as the soul learns to understand that which the scriptures declare to be "bigger than the bigger, yet smaller than the smallest."
Every newly discovered fact or insight is like one more piece of a conceptual jigsaw puzzle that suddenly allows us to complete a whole new section; or like that one answer in a crossword puzzle that gives you the clues needed to complete many others.
Once we attain a vision of higher knowledge, the entire arena within which the concept of our personal identity was valid is transcended and dissolved. This is why the poet Kabir said that on the path to the absolute, there is only room for one. We can never know the highest truth. The wave cannot feel its own wetness. The tongue cannot taste itself. Only essence can perceive essence. The parts of us that are seeking higher knowledge are negated and dissolved by the light of that knowledge. As Augustine so beautifully declared, "The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me."
Perhaps there is a place within ourselves that has access to the full realm of the nature of all existence, unabridged and uncompromised. But if that true apex of our being is ever attained and experienced in its absolute fullness, there will be no ego, no brain, no mind, and no physical body left to write about it.
Saints and sages of all traditions have nevertheless insisted that deeper knowledge is worth striving for. Growth is inherent in our nature. We are explorers, frontiersmen, philosophers, and scientists. We are moved to grow and evolve and view increasingly complex systems of knowledge, to discover more and more information through which to look at and evaluate our world. That is just what we do.
The scriptures of India explain that Supreme Consciousness is composed of two qualities, called prakasha and vimarsha. Prakasha is the energetic light and power that manifests as this entire creation. Vimarsha is the self-awareness that perceives that light. Although we appear to be separate from the worlds around us, in our deepest essence we are both the creative light and the awareness that perceives the light; we are artist and audience at once. In this space, we can taste the oneness of all creation. In fact, the act of perception is considered an act of creation as well. To examine this idea, one need only look at our own dream state. When we watch a dream, are we perceiving or creating? Are we the subject or object, the creative light or the self-awareness that perceives its dance?
Spiritual evolution is kind of like a game, a scavenger hunt. It is our nature, indeed one of our purposes for being here, to become more and more self aware -- with the self continuously expanding until it eventually, one day, become established in the awareness of our total and complete oneness with this entire creation. The prize. Paradoxically, we are already One even when we don't know it. This journey of conscious evolution is a topsy-turvy game.
But fortunately, there are perks. We are following the road back to our true nature. And as with any other behavior that nature wants to positively reinforce, such as procreation and ingestion of foods, there is a pleasure, but this time it is a higher blissful space that we enter as our worldview expands to include more and more Truth.
You ask, "How can we know the Infinite?" I answer, not by reason.
It is the office of reason to distinguish and define.
The Infinite, therefore, cannot be ranked among its objects.
You can only apprehend the Infinite by a faculty superior to reason,
by entering into a state in which you are your finite self no longer,
in which the Divine Essence is communicated to you. This is Ecstasy.
It is the liberation of your mind from its finite consciousness.
-Plotinus
The process of growing past our previous levels of understanding brings pleasant, even ecstatic side effects, along with the shock and despair that can come initially as our concepts are shattered and proved untrue. Then there are those precious moments when we can free ourselves of all the levels of knowledge, and simply rest, cradled in the undifferentiated field of awareness, with no thoughts, no judgments -- just the blissful throb of supreme Consciousness.
This is perhaps the greatest gift of life available to us, and even more amazing, it is our birthright. We can expand our awareness until we too are both imminent and transcendent. We can dance in that oneness, learning and growing, making mistakes and achieving successes, even while we watch from a higher space. We have written, produced and directed our own drama, and we also act in this play. Yet, we are also the audience, enjoying the trials, tribulations and discoveries of our character, displayed upon the screen of consciousness. The I, then, is truly a We. And conversely, that which we thought of as We becomes I. Duality dissolves. Opposites coexist. We are awake and asleep at the same time. What an amazing creation.
We are born with an infant's egocentric predisposition to experience the world completely in relation to our personal needs and desires. Some manage to hold on to this un-tempered form of egocentrism beyond their childhood years. These are the people we call selfish or narcissistic, whose only way to translate events of the world around them is through the impact of these events on their own personal life and well being. If you see the oneness of all creation, then being narcissistic isn't so bad, because you are simply relishing in That which is all.
This loosening of the egocentricity's hold is a central tenet to many of the most advanced and ancient spiritual traditions. Over and over again, the great teachings extol us to be detached from petty desires, to become free from the bondage of ego, to love our neighbors as ourselves, to serve selflessly, and to act without attachment to the fruits of our actions.
Wake up O man, at least now wake up, o foolish one.
Consider this whole creation as a mere dream.
This world is like a flower in bloom;
as you watch it, it wilts right before your eyes.
So why are you attached to it?
-Brahmananda, an Indian poet saint
Creation and perception of creation co-exist as one manifestation. It is the gravity pull of egocentrism that keeps our cycles small -- just as the planets can never move from their orbits as long as the gravity of the sun pulls on them, keeps them close, and binds them to move through the same cycle of space over and over again, instead of allowing them to break free and move through other galaxies, other universes.
It can be difficult to let go of our favorite concepts, even the ones that ultimately lead to pain and limitation. These beliefs are comfortable comrades, closer to us than even our families and friends. In fact, one might say that our beliefs are us -- they make us unique individuals.
Have you ever tried to kick a habit? It can be difficult to do. Even when people know something is bad for them, they will still do it, pulled by the force of habit. Imagine how strong our habit of identifying as a separate individual must be, this deluding wine of egocentricity. It could take a whole lot more than twelve steps to give that one up!
Now for the list of possible side effects from this process of conscious evolution. En route to the bliss and freedom of liberation, we may feel a loss of identity as we open up to the universal wholeness. The drop is about to merge into the sea; the sea is giving up its small identity as it flows into the ocean. Yet, there is also great camaraderie in realizing that we are an integral part of the universe, the earth, and society -- much as the ant building an anthill is part of the consciousness of the entire group of ants. No one ant is able to see the whole picture, yet each is moved by an underground stream of natural guidance and intelligence that feeds and moves them to work in blind but organized unison with the group -- according to a master plan no individual ant can see.
We are the same way, and like the ants, we too do not appreciate the depth of this great guiding force. In fact, when guided by this universal intelligence, we will often create any passable excuse for why we did what we did, unless we're a teenager, in which case we'll probably just say, "I don't know." Adults look upon these words as a sign of defiance or ignorance, when the phrase may in fact be a sign of an evolved soul who knows they are guided by unknown forces bubbling up from the subconscious mind, and perhaps even coming from other levels of beings that may live in dimensions intersecting with ours.
As the process of conscious evolution progresses, we may also experience a lack of motivation, as society's most highly acclaimed goals show themselves as ephemeral fantasies. In fact, two of the top-ten signs of success in our culture are exactly the two things Indian saint Ramakrishna declared to be the two most potentially destructive vices to the evolving soul: money and women (which could be made politically correct by understanding the forces behind what these words represent -- lust and greed).
As we become more attuned to the path of spiritual evolution, many vices and limited goals will begin to fade, leaving us feeling a bit lost at times. During these times, it would be fortunate to be in company with others on whatever kind of path resonates with you, as long as it is a path that ultimately leads to freedom from the path. After awakening to higher knowledge, I was blessed with the ten wonderful years in an Indian ashram under the guidance of two colorful and powerful spiritual teachers. I was surrounded with elevated teachings all day long, and so did not fall into fear or despair about having left my previous goals behind to focus on spiritual growth.
As our maps are updated, piles of crumbling concepts can leave us in a space of vulnerability and confusion, even emptiness. This is why many scriptures say it is so essential to have a guru on the path, a spiritual guide who has traveled the terrain and can give suggestions, guidance, and if need be, commands.
Though we may live on a superficial, limited level of sensory-based experience, our roots go deep into the most profound and fertile soil of being. That perfect oneness is always there, and it always moves through us, as us. However, until we break free of egocentricity, our own habits of limited thinking will prevent us from experiencing the full nourishment of the roots of our own great being. As my guru used to say, this is a path of "getting rid of what you haven't got."
