Secrets of Spiritual Happiness
Secret #24 Don't Bring Others Down!
By Sharon Janis
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We are all full of weakness and errors, let us mutually pardon each other our follies - it is the first law of nature.
-- Voltaire
Just as you don't want to spend too much time worrying about what others think of you, you also don't want to spend too much of your time thinking about what others should do - judging how someone else looks, what they own, how they behave, or what hidden motivations they may have.
Modern society has gotten into some bad habits lately. One of the more harmful habits is when people, individually, and especially as a group, tear down those who are most precious to ourselves and to humanity as a whole. Many great leaders -- political, religious, and otherwise -- have a mountain of positive characteristics, yet we look for some spot of taint in them. Modern society has done this with everyone from presidents, to stock market savvy domestic goddesses, to kings of pop, divas of R&B, and even Mother Teresa, for goodness sake!
We sometimes look for taint in people, instead of just enjoying their offerings of talent, beauty, love, and skills. Network and cable news shows have also succumbed to this habit of tabloid mentality - bringing its tendrils into nearly every home where television is watched. Gossip has gone mainstream.
Of course, it is human nature to be curious and to want to know personal details about others. That, in itself, isn't such a bad trait. Interest is one thing; destructive gossip is another. Some journalists seem to relish magnifying each stain into some murky mixture of true and untrue headline gossip. Raucous and pretentious news show debates create national obsessions about every morbid, shocking, enticing, and risqué detail in the life of whatever public figure is being tossed to the gossip lions today. As a result of the media's propagation of this bad habit, we've become a gossip mongering society. This is a problem, because gossip destroys not only the object of gossip, but also those who are doing the gossiping, and the fabric of society as well.
Nevertheless, blessings can be found anywhere, and one blessing that has come from this bad habit of journalistic gossiping is that we've finally learned, once and for all, that nobody is perfect, except in the universal sense of spiritual perfection. If you're here in form, you have lessons to learn.
This understanding makes it easier for us to also acknowledge our own frailties, without getting into a swamp of judgmental internal gossip about ourselves. Having witnessed the media's array of spicy personal revelations about just about every well-known person in history, we can come to the mature realization that nobody is absolutely perfect in every way, and through the eyes of every judge.
If we expect perfection from those who have achieved some greatness or shown a willingness to serve society, then we box these people into a life that fits into our expectations. They may feel obliged to put on a face that doesn't reflect their inner beliefs. Eventually, that distorted outer face may foster an inner environment that brings about distorted actions that go against their own religious, political, or essential beliefs - giving even more fodder for more gossiping.
Instead of coming into their own deeply guided relationship with God or their own deep wisdom, some spiritual, artistic, and political leaders may have to spend much of their time and efforts worrying about how their actions will be perceived by the "viewing public," or the "voting public," or by those tabloid journalists who are licking their chops in hopes of finding the next explosive or salacious rumor to reveal publicly. This is how society unintentionally brings down its greatest achievers, with these gems of humanity being crucified again and again by the errant soldiers of judgment, animosity, jealousy, and greed.
Therefore, let's create greater happiness all the way around by practicing acceptance, tolerance, and respect toward ourselves as well as toward others.
One way to respect others is to stop participating in the group mentality of criticism and gossip. Both publicly and in our own lives, we can stop looking so hard at others to find and drag out any actions or qualities that appear to be faults to our own faulty eyes. We can also look upon those who have stumbled with a sense of compassion, and an acknowledgment that "there, but for the grace of God, go I."
Why do you see the speck in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Friend, let me take out the speck in your eye," when you yourself do not see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
-- Luke 6-41, 42
Why not love, respect, and support our leaders instead of tearing them down? Why not love and respect ourselves as well? Why not focus on people's good qualities? Why not be grateful and appreciative for those who have offered themselves to various avenues of world service? Why turn every famous and accomplished person into pabulum for the tabloid gossip industry?
This doesn't mean that we have to hide anyone's frailties or pretend that they have no faults, but we also don't have to distort and exaggerate their mistakes into big blockbuster headlines. How would you like it if people looked for slip-ups to report in every move you make?
Respect for one another is one of the foundations of spirituality - do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If we can learn to truly welcome one another with love and respect, spiritual happiness will shine brightly in our lives and in the world.
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