Secrets of Spiritual Happiness

Secret #25 -- Think Well of Everyone

 

    

 

By Sharon Janis

 

All that we are is the result of what we have thought; it is founded upon our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him, as the wheel follows the foot of the ox that draws the carriage.   If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.

--Gautama Buddha

One secret of spiritual happiness is to stay a bit naïve in terms of suspicions about others. Unless there is some possibility of actual damage or danger that may arise from their actions, it may be best to just assume as much as you can that people are coming from a good place.   The key, once again, is balance - to think as well as possible about others, while still being vigilant and realistic, depending on the particular circumstances.  

When I find myself in the company of those who bring up not-so-positive thoughts in my mind - such as people who behave rudely, or who act petty or unkind - I'll usually turn my attention within, toward the inner wisdom, and contemplate if this experience may be God's way of letting me know that this is possibly a place where I shouldn't spend more time than necessary.  

Certainly, God is well versed in the fine arts of behavior modification - a psychological term for using reward and punishment to guide and train a person or animal.   Instead of just wallowing in a swamp of negative thinking about others, I may consider whether those challenging experiences, thoughts, and feelings may actually be an inner guidance or universal suggestion to make a change in my outer life or inner attitudes.

One way to interpret the presence of troubling people in your life may be to ask whether you are meant to reduce your proximity and time with such people.   Another interpretation would be to ask whether you might have been brought together with these challenging people to find greater strength inside yourself.   Or, perhaps you are meant to help them in the face of their troubles.   After all, we are often called upon to be the hands of angels for those around us.   Sometimes we are also brought into the company of those who can help teach what we need to learn - whether through their good or bad examples. One key to spiritual happiness is to find an interpretation that allows us to focus on something positive whenever possible.

Ultimately, the basis of thinking well of everyone is to truly think well of ourselves.   When we recognize and identify with our own greatness, negative thoughts and emotions, such as anger, hatred, and revenge, simply have no place to sit.   Our "house" is so clean that there is no place for the bugs and mice of negative thinking.   There is nothing for the cockroaches of judgment and criticism to eat. With faith and compassion, we seek to love and serve, rather than to criticize and judge.

In fact, thinking negatively about others actually affects you more than it affects them.   For example, if you imagine an evil action, thought, or plot in someone else's mind - then whether there actually is an evil intent in that person's mind, there is most certainly now one in yours!   Remember, if it's in your mind, it's in your mind!  

Obviously, if we always try to assume the best about people, our naïve innocence may be disappointed and proved wrong at times.   However, at least our minds will be creating positive images instead of negative ones.   It is more conducive for spiritual happiness to think well of others and sometimes have that trust broken, than it is to distrust from the start. Think well of others, think well of yourself, and enjoy the gentle equanimity of spiritual happiness.

 

 

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